The Setup

On KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS (of whatever season or spinoff I’m currently watching), Khloe sure hates Scott.

What Khloe Says

He’s bad for my sister QED I hate him.

Back Up And Tell It Right

This is actually very typical. Someone you love winds up in a relationship with someone you hate primarily because you hate how miserable they seem to make the person you love, and, by extension, you. You hate them so much you don’t want to see them or talk to them. You can’t be in the same room with them. You can barely be polite to them. Here’s the deal: that outside hateful person – Scott in this case – isn’t the problem; rather, that person is merely a reflection of two other problems.

First problem: Pretend Khloe’s right for a moment (and, remember, you can never judge a relationship from the outside, even one you’re watching 24/7 on E!) and that Scott is a hateful, volatile, unreliable, destructive cow who’s pulling Kourtney away from her family. Even so, making Scott go away won’t solve the problem since the problem (if there is one) lies with Kourtney and not Scott. After all, she’s the one making the choice.

Second problem: When we get as upset about someone as Khloe gets about Scott, that’s generally because that person is reflecting something within ourselves that we dislike. Perhaps Khloe recognizes hateful pieces of herself within Scott and lashes out at him for having those characteristics she dislikes. Or perhaps she views Kourtney’s response to Scott as a horrible weakness because that’s how she would feel if she found herself staying in a relationship with someone who was volatile or self-centered. Or perhaps her father’s death felt like an abandonment and she’s mushing that in with Scott’s seeming unreliability toward her sister. Or whatever.

In other words, Khloe’s big angry feelings are hers, and their resolution doesn’t lie with Kourtney or Scott but rather with figuring out what that relationship is triggering within her and resolving that core issue instead.

Hey, Khloe, here’s hoping you work it by the time I get to Season Six…