That Shizz Hurt!

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That Shizz Hurt!: Dealing With Past Abuse And Not Letting It Rule Your Present - Matt Prager

Did you survive a rough childhood – only those survival skills seem to be getting in the way of your present-day life? If so, time to put down those old tools and pick up some new ones, and THAT SHIZZ HURT! will show you how.  Excerpt:

It’s a commonly held belief that people stay in abusive relationships (or the less pathological “unhealthy” relationship) because they’re “comfortable” or “familiar” or “uncomfortable but in a familiar way” with the pain.  I don’t believe this to be the case.  While we often engage in self-loathing behavior, we are not, by design, self-loathers.  We seek happiness in whatever form we know happiness to be.

There’s no question that people are miserable in their bad or abusive relationships; they don’t, themselves, deny this.  The reason they stay in them, however, is because those abusers are the only ones who can, if only for brief stretches of time, provide the abusee with feelings of being normal, of being happy, of being safe.  The abusee is NOT reaching for misery; s/he’s willing to absorb an enormous amount of misery to be with the only person on earth who can make him or her feel happy…